Florence - Reflections of the Canvas
Within Written and photographed by Katie Burke
My friends, with hurting heads and weak stomachs, cursed all
the red wine and dancing from the night before. They'd been to
the discothèque for the fourth time in that many nights.
I'd stayed in with Susan, the only other 40-year-old soul in a
20-year-old's body in our study abroad program. We'd made pasta
and salad, with fresh ingredients we'd bought at various Florentine
food markets earlier in the day.
Susan's head was happy and her stomach strong, so she might have
been an available partner for the day's adventures. But I wanted
to walk the Boboli Gardens alone, so I slipped out of our building
in my walking clothes, without stopping by her apartment to invite
her along.
As I wandered through the streets of Florence, I felt alive and
free, in a way I'd forgotten back at school in Connecticut. Here,
there were no dramas with men, and only the kind of homework that
fascinated me to the core.
My friends' discothèque stories were proof that lust was
in abundant supply here. But I couldn't engage with the "American
goes to Italy and finds love (or something like it) in the nightlife
scene" dream.
My wish was more expansive: that I would lose myself in the charm
and warmth of the culture around me, and find myself again in
every encounter within it. I couldn't be bothered with men, except
in human exchanges of everyday consequence, such as the old baker's
struggle to understand my broken Italian, and his kind, yet frustrating,
decision to respond in perfect English.
I was too rapt with my photographic canvas, the lovely city of
Firenze, to activate my smaller self. Here, rather than strolling
in search of men, I roamed with my black and white camera as if
on assignment, making subjects of soccer players in the park,
flea market vendors, and locals walking along the Arno river.
I'd found and dusted off my passion within: the creative project,
the bringing of life into the world.
For this semester, it was photography. And whatever would follow,
whether more photography or another artistic pursuit, I knew then
that I would always have this fire, this calling to birth beauty
unto the world from its own elements.
In the Boboli Gardens, I cried. They were green and creative,
the product of directed landscaping efforts. The gardens were
natural and, at the same time, constructed into fascinating art
sculptures. Art made of trees, bushes, and water, accented with
glamorous architecture and sculpture pieces. The gardens felt
like home.
I saw myself there. Beautiful by birthright, yet needing directed
attention to be at my best. Seeing my reflection in my natural
surroundings, I learned that I would always thrive, an instrumental
element of the world, born unto it from its own elements.
Katie Burke is
a family law attorney and writer. She has published various
articles, essays, and letters including ‘Messages of
Healing and Hope’ published in Letters to a Bullied
Girl. She is currently revising her memoir, about love
and its many lessons.
